The first thing you will know about me is that I was very close with my grandma during her time on earth. She lived with my family and I, and played an important part in my upbringing. She would get me up in the morning, make breakfast, and get me ready for school. She made my lunch and dinner, and slept in a room downstairs. She was from Norwich, England and moved to the U.S. when she was 26 years old. Her name was Veronica.
My Grandma Roni
Veronica, or “Roni” as she was affectionately known, was feisty and full of character. A Scorpio (from what I hear this is a misunderstood star sign, although I don’t know much about that). She had polio as a child and surgery to remove part of her right calf muscle, making it difficult to walk (I am so grateful for modern medicine). Part of me believes it made her stronger – she had to fight harder and knew she deserved her place in the world.
Before she moved in with my family, she had a one bedroom condo down the street from us, where she lived on the third floor with my Grandpa Jay. Grandpa was a kind and gentle soul – a devout Catholic and an artist in his spare time. He passed away unexpectedly when I was seven years old, leaving behind paintings, paint sets, a keyboard, and various other forms of art. I would spend afternoons painting with watercolors at their two-person wooden table with a half moon shaped leaf, which we would prop up under the ceiling fan to let the paintings dry. I would play with my pink wooden dollhouse Grandpa made, equipped with pink spiral staircase and a gemstone on the doorknob of the front door. Grandpa’s crafts serve as a beautiful reminder:
The things we make, particularly the ones we give the utmost love and care in creating, have great power to live on long after we’re gone.
Perhaps that is why Grandma and I developed such a close bond after he passed. Not only do I resemble my Grandpa (I get told this even to this day, and I’m not sure how to feel about looking like an old man lol), but I have taken interest in many of the things he once did. I love making music – singing and playing instruments. I joined band in fifth grade, starting on the clarinet and soon after switching to saxophone. Grandma loved when I would practice or put on concerts. She came to all of my shows when I did theater. In the summers, I was rarely bored at home. She taught me so many things, including how to read and how to knit. We would walk to the library to get books, or spend hours just knitting on the back porch and making pleasant conversation. Grandma taught me the beauty of slowing down, and enjoying all that life has to offer. She worked very hard, and she also knew when and how to rest.
Lavender
When Grandma got to be older, our roles seemed to have reversed. She had always taken care of me, and now it was my chance to return the favor. I studied Bioengineering in college and was on the Pre-Med track. I became a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) so that I could gain experience with patients, but also I knew it would come in handy when taking care of Grandma. She needed help with some basic tasks – cooking, showering, going to the bathroom. My favorite memories of caring for her though, were when I had the chance to wash her feet. As a CNA, I was not allowed to provide nail care for patients’ feet as there is inherent risk for diabetic patients with nerve damage. Unfortunately, in my experience, I had seen many elderly patients go without proper foot care simply because we were not allowed to provide it due to liability reasons. I was able, however, to wash Grandma’s feet at home. Each time I did, we would talk about Jesus and how he washed his disciples’ feet.
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
John 13:14-15
I always used lavender lotion at the end, since it was her favorite. Now, any time I smell lavender, I think of her. Our sense of smell has an incredibly powerful ability to seemingly transport us through time. Meanwhile, lavender is also known to have calming properties. Put together, a vivid memory of her and strong sense of calm let me know that my grandma is at peace.
Locket
While this locket did not belong to my grandma, nor did I have it when she was alive, I use it as a reminder of all that she represents to me. A locket is a piece of jewelry worn close to the heart, and filled with something special to the wearer. I keep a little lavender bud in my tiny heart shaped locket. When I wear it, I am reminded of all the ways my grandma taught me to enjoy life and see the beauty in everyday simplicity. I am empowered to express myself and create, to travel and see the world, and to build a home and a life I love. Her memory lives on in my heart. With that, I dedicate this blog to the legacy that is my Grandma Roni.
The Lavender Locket 